Dirty Pop

Per the request of one of "Taste Like Chicken"'s most avid readers, I'm going to fill you in on some of the popular culture phenomena that keep Chinese youth (age 16-30 are considered as "youth" here) entertained for hours on end. Why speak out against you're government when you've got KTV, prime time soaps and the one and only Justin Bieber to keep you going at night.

KTV

KTV, simply put, is karaoke. But this is not your neighborhood, "I'm fall-down drunk so I'm going to go to the front of the bar and mumble through some Celine Dion" type of karaoke. KTV (There is no translation, you just say "KTV") commences in a private room for you and your friends. The one that my boss invited me to attend was called Party World, and when I found out it was over 400 kuai an hour, I could not figure out why.

Then I walked into Party World. I thought we had accidentally stumbled into a five star hotel, with marble statues and chandeliers adorning every square inch and attendants in three-piece suits; this was some serious shit. After being ushered to our room, consisting of a wrap-around couch, a big screen plasma, two different song choice stations and multiple microphones that reach to every corner of the room. What then ensued was over 4 hours of finding out that I am no longer able to sing as a tenor, that the Chinese have the range of 12 year old Michael Jackson and that KTV is no time for fun, it is a time to showcase your skills as you search for fame, fortune and platinum records. Of course, some alcohol is involved, and by the end of the evening, the singing had turned into an all out dance party, complete with maracas, tambourines and lots bonding.

I also learned that there is no such thing as "just for fun" when it comes to certain hobbies. I'd seen this on the basketball courts and soccer fields here so far, but those are sports. Then we started playing pool every once in a while, only to run into a Chinese shooter at a bar who finished the game off in three turns, prompting me to buy him a beer which he refused to drink because he didn't want to throw his game off...seriously? And of course, my boss David adorned himself with a sign self-proclaiming him as the "King of Karaoke" and then did battle with a former colleague, singing multiple duets in both English and Chinese. While two dudes singing to each other may sound slightly homo-erotic, I liken it to Ali-Fraser, with no clear winner but obvious losers: all of our ear drums for the next three days. So next time someone tries to poke fun as you sing along to Gaga, or dismisses karaoke as gay, tell them they need to step into the thunder dome and show you what they've got, ya dig?