Dirty Pop

Per the request of one of "Taste Like Chicken"'s most avid readers, I'm going to fill you in on some of the popular culture phenomena that keep Chinese youth (age 16-30 are considered as "youth" here) entertained for hours on end. Why speak out against you're government when you've got KTV, prime time soaps and the one and only Justin Bieber to keep you going at night.

KTV

KTV, simply put, is karaoke. But this is not your neighborhood, "I'm fall-down drunk so I'm going to go to the front of the bar and mumble through some Celine Dion" type of karaoke. KTV (There is no translation, you just say "KTV") commences in a private room for you and your friends. The one that my boss invited me to attend was called Party World, and when I found out it was over 400 kuai an hour, I could not figure out why.

Then I walked into Party World. I thought we had accidentally stumbled into a five star hotel, with marble statues and chandeliers adorning every square inch and attendants in three-piece suits; this was some serious shit. After being ushered to our room, consisting of a wrap-around couch, a big screen plasma, two different song choice stations and multiple microphones that reach to every corner of the room. What then ensued was over 4 hours of finding out that I am no longer able to sing as a tenor, that the Chinese have the range of 12 year old Michael Jackson and that KTV is no time for fun, it is a time to showcase your skills as you search for fame, fortune and platinum records. Of course, some alcohol is involved, and by the end of the evening, the singing had turned into an all out dance party, complete with maracas, tambourines and lots bonding.

I also learned that there is no such thing as "just for fun" when it comes to certain hobbies. I'd seen this on the basketball courts and soccer fields here so far, but those are sports. Then we started playing pool every once in a while, only to run into a Chinese shooter at a bar who finished the game off in three turns, prompting me to buy him a beer which he refused to drink because he didn't want to throw his game off...seriously? And of course, my boss David adorned himself with a sign self-proclaiming him as the "King of Karaoke" and then did battle with a former colleague, singing multiple duets in both English and Chinese. While two dudes singing to each other may sound slightly homo-erotic, I liken it to Ali-Fraser, with no clear winner but obvious losers: all of our ear drums for the next three days. So next time someone tries to poke fun as you sing along to Gaga, or dismisses karaoke as gay, tell them they need to step into the thunder dome and show you what they've got, ya dig?

A Capitalist Love Story, From A Real Michigan State Spartan

I hear it everyday from those whose knowledge of China is, for political correctness' sake, very limited: "How's life with the commies?" I tell them everything is spectacular and that "the commies" aren't being too evil and I've only seen them sacrifice a few virgins...Then I dismiss this Cold War rhetoric and explain how things really are in the world's largest communist country.

In the States, when you go to the store to buy a bottle of water, if the price says 99 cents, taxes aside, you expect to pay 99 cents. If you tell the clerk that water is 89 cents down the street, they tell you that they could care less and that you can give them 99 cents or get the hell out...

Enter China: When we first arrived here, being fresh new pups in a big scary place, we were slightly naive. We were willing to pay 5 kuai for a beer or giant water bottle at our hotel's convenience store. Then we discovered the store right next door had the same beer and water for just 3 kuai; being college students and jumping at the chance to save 30 cents, we began cleaning out the store's cache of drinks. However, after a week or so of buying from this newfound oasis of frugality, our friendly hotel fuwuyuan(服务员, waiter/waitress or shop clerk) noticed that we had stopped frequenting the hotel's store. She stopped me as I walked in one evening and asked how much we paid for our beer next door. I explained to her that we paid just 3 kuai and she quickly put her arm around me and led me to the cooler, handed me a beer and told me "this one is free and from now on, always 3 kuai for you and your friends here." I was absolutely taken aback, wondering if her hands would be cut off for such a thing. But right there, in "commie China", capitalism was unfolding before my very eyes. I almost teared up, but I mostly just smiled because I had a free beer and I now had to walk 30 feet less to get my drinks.

This may seem like an overly-simplified situation, but it is indicative of the attitude and climate that rules Chinese business today. Beginning with Deng Xiaoping's "opening up" of the Chinese economy in 1978, continuing with Jiang Zemin's reduction of public ownership across practically every sector in 1997, and culminating with an extensive expansion of private property rights in 2003, China's economy seems to be anything but my ignorant friend's idea of communist. Some modern economic obstacles currently facing the country include healthcare overhaul, social security reform, environmental stewardship and renewable energy production. Wait? Healthcare reform and environmentally friendly energy production? Why those things aren't communist, their downright 'Merican (at least if you're a Lib)! Do you see it now? No everyday Chinese person would first identify themselves as a communist, and most of them, my fuwuyuan included, have no reason to; because they are capitalists.

China becomes more and more capitalist everyday. While it may be run by so-called communists, an emphasis on the common person isn't such a bad thing when that's the extent of the socialism. With liberal policies in place, China aims to undergo a self-titled "peaceful rise" to power, and rather than blind ourselves with our own titles for the Dragon Kingdom, the U.S. must recognize the potential for what could be a great and prosperous love story between the world's richest and most powerful nations. We need to hop on this love boat, or we will be left in the wake.

Make Way For Liberty

So I've decided I'm going to attempt three posts per week. I'm going to try to make them short, sweet and full of goodness for you to fill your brains with.

As you could've guessed, we made it to a 4th of July barbecue. It was put on by the American Chamber of Commerce and can best be described at an oasis of Western-ism in the middle of, well, a bunch of lakes of Western-ism.

One thing I have come to enjoy about this city is that if you are really missing home, it's not that hard to find, more or less, exactly what you're looking for, and sometimes it's even better.

What was I missing most? (Aside from my family and friends...well at least most of you!):Pizza, ranch dressing, ESPN, driving a car and cheap domestic beer. I know I know, proud staples of American-ism. So what did I do about it?

Well there are literally pizza places every other block or so, but have you ever had pizza with ketchup as the sauce? Welcome to Chinese pizza. Maybe the Pizza Hut will have real pizza...nope, it's a nice sit-down Italian restaurant with pizza resembling pita bread with cheese melted on top of it. But a little Swedish-run gem we found tucked into the side of two of our favorite night clubs has made all (okay two) of my wildest dreams come true: real pizza and caeser-like dressing that they call ranch that I close my eyes and eat and imagine as if I were in the frat with a Little Caeser's Hot'n'Ready, pure bliss.

So what about actual sports? The world cup has been a blast, but the amount of soccer (not football), volleyball, badminton and ping-pong I've seen is disturbing. Well, this wonderful thing called the internet (we'll nick name him Al G) knows exactly what I need, and Al G is always there to deliver. Sure, sometimes Al G is censored and youtube is nowhere to be found, but there are simple ways around this and, so long as you aren't being a pesky organizer, you're free to go about your sports watching business. I even enjoy watching baseball over here, so long as I get to here the "duh duh duh, duh duh duh" of sportscenter every once in a while.

Driving a car? Well that one goes along with the cheap domestic beer discovery. Major round-abouts in the city have sobriety checkpoints, even though it seems you need to be drunk to possibly navigate the way people drive here. But head to the local 沃尔玛 (Woerma...Wal-Mart!!) and pick up a three-pack of 600 mL 百威 (Budweiser, duh) and find the nearest go-kart track; Not only is drinking and go-karting allowed, it's encouraged as there is a bar built into the racing facility (told you, something cooler than America).

People might wonder why you'd want to travel to China just to find all of its Western comforts. This post is meant to show you that if you really miss home, this can be a home too. Chinese people feel towards their 老外 (laowai; lit. revered outsider. The colloquial term for a foreigner) that Chinese culture is rich with tradition and history. But they also welcome every person from everywhere and many many cultures represent themselves in many ways and places all over modern Beijing. Chinese hospitality towards foreigners, and especially Westerners, is unmatched; violent crimes against foreigners in China are virtually unheard of, and with over 70 million people expected to visit Shanghai over the course of the World Expo, "Eastern Hospitality" might be a term we start hearing more often.